Wrenches.
You know those things that life throws at you? Those things that can knock you off your track just when you think you’ve got it all figured out?
Do we embrace them or do we reject them?
Are they beneficial to us because every once in a while we need to be shaken up and tossed around? Or are they thrown at us only to confuse us and make us question our wisdom?
I hate wrenches. Mostly because of my controlling, gotta have it all figured out and planned out personality forces me to. For the past month I’ve struggled with a certain wrench.
Sometimes, these wrenches can leave you with no choice, life takes a turn and you have to go down that path. Other times, the road splits and it’s up to you to choose the path.
This sudden urgency to make a decision is my worst fear.
Part of this is because I truly believe that when God created me he split me down the middle, like one of those ice-cream cones you can get with half vanilla, half chocolate. I am two people in one body. (It’s part of being a Gemini—if you believe in all that).
So when it comes to decisions, big (internships) or small (ordering fast food), my brain fails me. Half of me can be 100% one way and the other half is 100% another way. Like I said, if you’re close to me, you know this all too well.
Back to this wrench, I said I wasn’t going to analyze it. I said I wasn’t going to over think it and I said I wasn’t going to talk to other people about it. I was just going to spend some time thinking about what I wanted to do and seek wisdom from God.
Well… that lasted about a day.
Instead I stressed, worried and exhausted myself. Everyday I spent trying to figure out the “best” plan for my life and where the decision would lead me.
As my wise roomie Andrea says, "When you say yes to something then you're also saying no to something else."
The problem is I never really actually considered what it would be like to say no. What's no?
All I know is yes. If there's a new opportunity coming my way I always think it's "for a reason" (everything happens for a reason, right!?) or that I have to do it because I don't want to miss out. Yes has always been the right answer.
Until now.
This time I'm saying no and guess what? THAT'S OKAY.
This is what I've learned through this decision making process:
1. Trust yourself. It's okay to have a hold on things and be confident that you're on the right track. When you're living in God's will you can be certain that he has you exactly where you need to be. Quit second guessing what God has already made clear to you.
2. Sometimes there's not a bad choice. The hardest times are when you're stuck between two great choices. They both could open up doors and lead to exciting experiences. It's up to you to evaluate the decision and figure out the best choice for your life at this point and time.
I spent so much time asking God, "which one is right!?" That's not always the case, both can be right and God will be present in both.
3. You can only plan on what you know. (credit to Ross for this one) As mentioned above, I love to plan. If I could plan my life for the next five years I would. But I can't. I can't even plan for tomorrow because tomorrow isn't promised. This means that you have to put ALL of your trust in God and believe that he will take you where you need to go. Let go- let God. He writes the story not you.
4. Asking for advice only makes it worse. Most of the time before we ask our friends and family for advice we already know exactly what their answer will be. I knew who would choose plan A and who would choose plan B. This only adds confusion. It's your decision not theirs.
From Lysa Terkerurst's book "The Best Yes:" Five questions to ask yourself before making a commitment.
You know those things that life throws at you? Those things that can knock you off your track just when you think you’ve got it all figured out?
Do we embrace them or do we reject them?
Are they beneficial to us because every once in a while we need to be shaken up and tossed around? Or are they thrown at us only to confuse us and make us question our wisdom?
I hate wrenches. Mostly because of my controlling, gotta have it all figured out and planned out personality forces me to. For the past month I’ve struggled with a certain wrench.
Sometimes, these wrenches can leave you with no choice, life takes a turn and you have to go down that path. Other times, the road splits and it’s up to you to choose the path.
This sudden urgency to make a decision is my worst fear.
Part of this is because I truly believe that when God created me he split me down the middle, like one of those ice-cream cones you can get with half vanilla, half chocolate. I am two people in one body. (It’s part of being a Gemini—if you believe in all that).
So when it comes to decisions, big (internships) or small (ordering fast food), my brain fails me. Half of me can be 100% one way and the other half is 100% another way. Like I said, if you’re close to me, you know this all too well.
Back to this wrench, I said I wasn’t going to analyze it. I said I wasn’t going to over think it and I said I wasn’t going to talk to other people about it. I was just going to spend some time thinking about what I wanted to do and seek wisdom from God.
Well… that lasted about a day.
Instead I stressed, worried and exhausted myself. Everyday I spent trying to figure out the “best” plan for my life and where the decision would lead me.
As my wise roomie Andrea says, "When you say yes to something then you're also saying no to something else."
The problem is I never really actually considered what it would be like to say no. What's no?
All I know is yes. If there's a new opportunity coming my way I always think it's "for a reason" (everything happens for a reason, right!?) or that I have to do it because I don't want to miss out. Yes has always been the right answer.
Until now.
This time I'm saying no and guess what? THAT'S OKAY.
This is what I've learned through this decision making process:
1. Trust yourself. It's okay to have a hold on things and be confident that you're on the right track. When you're living in God's will you can be certain that he has you exactly where you need to be. Quit second guessing what God has already made clear to you.
2. Sometimes there's not a bad choice. The hardest times are when you're stuck between two great choices. They both could open up doors and lead to exciting experiences. It's up to you to evaluate the decision and figure out the best choice for your life at this point and time.
I spent so much time asking God, "which one is right!?" That's not always the case, both can be right and God will be present in both.
3. You can only plan on what you know. (credit to Ross for this one) As mentioned above, I love to plan. If I could plan my life for the next five years I would. But I can't. I can't even plan for tomorrow because tomorrow isn't promised. This means that you have to put ALL of your trust in God and believe that he will take you where you need to go. Let go- let God. He writes the story not you.
4. Asking for advice only makes it worse. Most of the time before we ask our friends and family for advice we already know exactly what their answer will be. I knew who would choose plan A and who would choose plan B. This only adds confusion. It's your decision not theirs.
From Lysa Terkerurst's book "The Best Yes:" Five questions to ask yourself before making a commitment.
- It feels thrilling to say yes to this now. But how will this yes feel two weeks, two months, and six months from now?
- Do any of the expectations that will come from this yes feel forced or frantic?
- Could any part of this yes be tied to people pleasing and allowing that desire to skew my judgment of what's realistic and unrealistic?
- Which wise (older, grounded in God's Word, more experienced, and more mature) people in my life think this is a good idea?
- Are there any facts I try to avoid or hide when discussing this with my wise advisors?
"God's promises are not dependent on my ability to always choose well but rather his ability to use well."